All I want in life is guidance. Something to tell me, “do this and you’ll be happy” or, “do this and you’ll hate yourself.” But I know I won’t get any because if I want to make this life my own and live it how I want to I’m going to do things on my own and live with the consequences that follow no matter how rough it gets. It’s just something I have to live with.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.”- Richard Bach – Yeah?.. well fuck that shit and fuck Richard Bach. Do you honestly think, I have the time to meet someone, click, grow an attachment, fall in love, deeply in love, I’m not talking your average crush, I’m talking, going back to the days where we used to write love letters from long distances type of love, the “making a cup of tea and blowing it until its warm enough for them to drink” type of love… to have a soul connection, miss them, crave them, submit to them, etc.. just to let them go in the future. Wdf. Listen, if it’s gotton deep enough for me to fall into that type of love, I’m not letting you go. Fuck, I hate this generation of replacers. If something goes wrong, instead of fixing it, we replace, or let it go or some other dumb shit. No. Richard Bach, who is divorced, I will not take advice from you. As long as it isn’t toxic and unhealthy, I am not letting go.
I’m at the point in my life where I’ve fucked up so many times and disappointed everyone I care about and hurt them so badly that my apologies don’t mean a thing.
If you’ve ever had that feeling of loneliness, of being an outsider, it never quite leaves you. You can be happy or successful or whatever, but that thing still stays within you.
It’s so hard to find happiness these days. Permanent happiness that is. Sure, you have your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife but even then arguments arise and happiness simply gets shot down and shredded into scraps left for you to try and piece back together in hopes it’ll be the same happiness you found it as. The truth is, it probably won’t be the same. Happiness is temporary to make room for the sad miserable times we go through. It’s simply natural that a positive energy be balanced by an equally, though sometimes more frequent, negative energy. All in all that’s just how life is I guess.